Accepting Yourself for Who You Are
“What's your best discovery?" asked the mole. "That I'm enough as I am," said the boy.”
- Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
Do you ever feel like you're never enough, no matter how hard you try?
We all want to be enough, to live our lives with purpose and confidence and have something valuable to offer the world. We hear about success stories in the news, see examples of 'perfect' lives on social media, and are surrounded by messages telling us that only those who meet certain standards will make it in life.
It’s so easy to start comparing ourselves with others to measure whether or not we’re doing well enough or succeeding at what we should be. We want people to tell us that we are "enough" as we are.
But what does it mean to be enough as you are? To be enough as you are doesn't mean being perfect or achieving extraordinary feats — it means learning how to love and accept yourself for exactly who you are. Regardless of what life throws at you, remember that your validation begins with you and comes from within.
Accepting who we are doesn’t happen overnight; it takes time and work. But by following these tips, we can learn how to appreciate our true selves without comparing ourselves to others or striving for perfectionist standards that don't exist in real life.
1. START WITH SELF-CARE
A great place to start is by taking care of your physical and mental well-being. This means eating a healthy diet, getting enough rest, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that make you feel good. This can help boost your self-confidence and make it easier for you to accept yourself for who you are. Taking time for yourself is also important; set aside time for activities that bring joy into your life, such as hobbies or spending quality time with family and friends.
2. REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Knowing that we all struggle to accept our true selves can be comforting. Everyone has insecurities and worries about not being good enough or meeting specific standards. The important thing is not to let those feelings take over. Instead, take a step back, take a deep breath, and remember you’re not alone! Knowing this can help you feel more confident and remind you that no one is perfect, including you!
3. BE KINDER TO YOURSELF
The first step in loving yourself is being kinder to yourself. When we focus on our flaws, it can be hard to appreciate who we really are. So instead of finding fault with your appearance or personality, focus on what you like about yourself. Make a list of things you appreciate—your accomplishments, skills, values, etc.—and read it whenever you’re hard on yourself. Focusing on these positives can help boost your confidence and remind you that there is nothing “wrong” with who you are! Remember, there’s no one else like you in the world—you are unique, which makes you special.
4. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
Negative people can be draining and bring us down without us realising it. When it comes to accepting yourself for who you are, surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care about you can be a big help. Seek relationships with people who lift you and positively challenge you—you're more likely to find acceptance within these relationships than if they were negative ones full of criticism or judgmental comments.
5. PRACTISE POSITIVE THINKING
It’s easy to get stuck in a negative thought cycle, making it even harder to accept ourselves. Try turning these thoughts around by practising positive thinking instead! Whenever a negative thought pops up, take a few moments to consider the opposite – how could this thought be helpful? This can help reframe your thinking to be more constructive than destructive. Practise positive self-talk each day by complimenting yourself. Create affirmations such as “I am worthy” or “I am strong and capable”, and repeat them out loud every day until they become second nature.
Understanding how to be your best friend through self-acceptance and being good enough will help you build the life that you want. Don't be discouraged if you find yourself sometimes slipping back into the trap of overthinking or comparing yourself to others; with practice and perseverance, it gets easier to recognise the moments when these old habits resurface and more possible to tackle them from a more empowered standpoint.
It's not about being perfect - it's about being good enough and having the strength to accept our weaknesses and strengths. The truth is, you are unique and special in your own way. You don't need to be perfect; you need to be yourself. So, start accepting yourself for who you are, your flaws and all, and watch how your life changes for the better.
'The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.'
-Carl R. Rogers
