Kindness Starts with You

“You’ve been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

— Louise Hay

As teachers, we often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards. Whether it’s managing a busy classroom, navigating challenging conversations, or striving to meet ever-growing expectations, it’s easy to slip into a cycle of self-doubt and negative self-talk.

But the truth is being kind to yourself isn’t indulgent—it’s essential. Self-kindness builds resilience, boosts confidence, and helps you face challenges with a clearer, calmer mindset.

Imagine…

You’ve spent hours planning a training session for your colleagues. You’ve researched strategies, designed engaging resources, and poured your heart into making it valuable.

But as the session begins, a few people look distracted. Someone’s tapping away on their laptop, and another openly questions your approach in front of the group. By the time it’s over, that familiar inner critic starts up:
"Maybe my ideas weren’t good enough. What if I’ve wasted their time? I should have done better."

Sound familiar?

This is where self-kindness steps in. Instead of letting self-doubt spiral, try reframing your thoughts:

"I did my best. I spent time and effort preparing because I care about supporting my colleagues. Not everyone will respond in the same way, and that’s okay."

Self-kindness doesn’t mean ignoring feedback or pretending the experience wasn’t difficult. It’s about recognising your effort, valuing your intentions, and reminding yourself that one tough moment doesn’t define your worth as a teacher or a leader.

Steps to Cultivate Self-Kindness

If silencing that inner critic feels daunting, you’re not alone. But it’s possible to nurture self-kindness with a few small shifts:

1. Notice Your Thinking
   Our thoughts hold incredible power. The next time you catch yourself in a cycle of negativity, pause. Ask yourself: “Is this thought helping me?” Often, you’ll find it isn’t. Just recognising this can help.

2. What Would You Say to a Friend?
   If a colleague came to you with the same doubts, would you criticise them? Of course not. You’d most likely offer encouragement and understanding. So, why not treat yourself with that same kindness?

3. Reframe Negative Self-Talk
   Replace harsh self-judgements for affirmation.  For example:

• Instead of “I’m not good at this,” try “I’m learning, and I’ll get better with practice.”

• Instead of “I failed,” say “I tried, and I’ve learned something from the experience.”

Remember…

Working in a school is tough. There will be days when nothing seems to go right—days when it feels like you’re running on empty. But even on those days, you’re making a bigger impact than you realise.

Stop for a moment and think about:

• The pupil who found their voice because you encouraged them.

• The parent who said, “Thank you—you’ve made such a difference.”

• The colleague who confided in you and left feeling lighter because you listened.

These aren’t just “little things.” They’re the moments that shape lives—and they represent the difference you make.

Let’s Work on This Together

If self-kindness feels like a challenge, you’re not alone. Coaching can help you develop this skill, tune out that inner critic and embrace your unique strengths. Why not, book a free coaching session today and start your journey towards greater self-compassion and resilience.  After all, kindness starts with you.