Avoiding Self-Sabotage
“Nothing will sabotage our happiness and success more thoroughly than the fear that we are not enough.” – Bill Crawford
Do you ever feel like YOU are your own worst enemy?
Self-sabotage is more common than you may think. We all have goals, like feeling good about ourselves, being happy with our lives, having good relationships, and being successful in our careers, but sometimes, we stand in our way without even realising it.
Self-sabotage refers to the behaviours or decisions we make that undermine our success and happiness. For example, you may have a big presentation to give at work, and despite having prepared thoroughly, you keep telling yourself that you will fail and won't do well. As a result, you start to feel anxious and less confident, which affects your ability to perform at your best.
Often, the root of self-sabotage stems from fear, whether it’s fear of failure, fear of success, fear of judgement, or fear of the unknown. It can occur in all areas of our lives: relationships, careers, and even when it comes to our personal goals. Recognising and addressing these fears is critical to breaking the cycle of self-sabotage.
Here are a few of the most common ways you might be holding yourself back:
1. Comparing yourself to others
2. Focussing on your flaws
3. Dwelling on your mistakes
4. Procrastinating
5. Trying to please everyone.
6. Engaging in negative self-talk.
7. Engaging in destructive or risky behaviours, such as substance abuse or overspending
8. Sticking to your comfort zone
So, what can we do to overcome self-sabotage?
The first step is acknowledging and identifying the behaviours or thought patterns holding us back. Self-sabotage is often rooted in negative beliefs about ourselves or the world around us. These beliefs can be deeply ingrained and difficult to change but can also be challenged. When you notice negative thoughts or beliefs creeping into your mind, try to question them. Ask yourself if they're accurate and if there's evidence to support them. Then, try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, such as "I am capable" or "I deserve success".
One of the most helpful strategies to overcome self-sabotage is self-compassion. Instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes or failures, treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would with a close friend. Acknowledge your feelings and needs, and offer yourself words of comfort and support. Practising self-compassion can help you to build resilience and self-esteem, and it can also help you to overcome the fear of failure that often leads to self-sabotage.
Finally, reach out for support when you need it. Talking to a friend, family member, coach, or therapist can help you process your thoughts and feelings and give you a fresh perspective. It takes courage to ask for help, but it can often be the difference between overcoming self-sabotage and being stuck in a negative cycle that prevents you from reaching your full potential.
