WHO ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

JOB VACANCY: INNER CRITIC

(Full time) 

THIS ROLE WOULD SUIT SOMEONE WHO:

• Is loud and insists on being heard

• Likes control

• Seeks attention

• Likes to stay in their comfort zone and is averse to risk and change

• Is harsh, opinionated and judgemental

• Is prepared to be unkind to get their own way

• Can use shame, fear and guilt to motivate

• Thinks in black or white

• Focuses on the negative and ignores the positive

• Kicks you when you’re down

Do you recognise the inner critic?? Is this who you’re listening to?

We all have it – that voice inside our heads that constantly criticises us and puts us down.  It’s the voice that makes us feel flawed, unloved and insecure. It’s the voice that makes us feel unworthy. It’s the voice that helps to keep us stuck.

The inner critic is developed in childhood from early life experiences that we unknowingly internalise, and this defines the way we speak to ourselves. Although the inner critic is designed to protect us from threats, it can also hold us back by reminding us of our biggest fears, the things that could potentially hurt us, our disappointments from the past and our limiting beliefs about the future.

It’s our inner critic that encourages perfectionist behaviour and the feeling of not being good enough.

I’ll only be good enough when….

• I’ve studied more

• I’ve got a better job

• I’m earning more money

• I’ve lost weight

• I’ve found the perfect partner

The inner critic likes us to believe that we’re the only ones who feel like this, that we’re the only ones who are struggling.  And yet, if we were to listen to the inner thoughts and feelings of others, we would hear similar negative self-talk:

• I’m a failure

• I’m a fraud

• I can’t do anything right

• No-one will ever love me

• I’m so stupid

• I look awful

• I’ll never be able to do that

• I have nothing to offer

• I’m scared

So, isn’t it time that we stopped giving that inner critic airtime? What if we were to advertise a new job – a job for an inner coach instead, a job for someone who talks to us positively, encourages us and helps to build us up, rather than knock us down?

• What would that role look like?

• How would that coach sound?

• How would the inner coach support and encourage us?

• How would it make us feel?

• And what would we achieve because of it?

 Come on, let’s just ditch our inner critic and employ an inner coach instead. I don’t know about you, but it’s making me feel better already!

“It is not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it is what you whisper to yourself that has the most power.” Robert Kiyosoki